One of Erik's classmates has offered to "adopt" our family for the holidays. My first impression upon hearing this was that someone was concerned that we don't have family here and wanted to offer us somewhere to go for the holidays. It was the furthest thing from my mind that someone would want to actually provide for us in the sense of gifts for the kids, food for a holiday meal and so forth. I mean, come on, that's not us. We have electricity. We have a place to live. Don't get me wrong. I'm not insulted at all and haven't even made a decision yet as to just how we should respond to this. I just don't know what to do with where we are in life right now. It feels so wrong to accept any help at all considering that we have a great apartment in such a nice area. There are so many others in much more dire circumstances. Yet the truth of our circumstances found me waiting to have my number called amongst the sea of people at the Department of Human Services because when the rubber hits the road our monthly expenses outweigh our monthly income. Even though Erik and I haven't discussed it, I think it's just understood that we're not getting gifts for one another this year. But the thing is, I don't feel sad at all about that. I don't necessarily want to be like this for every Christmas, but really, I'm good. And I think my kids will be okay as well, although Quincy has been talking more than ever before this year about what he is going to wish for for Christmas and I'm pretty sure we just can't follow through on it. So maybe we should let these people play Santa in a rather real and traditional sense of St. Nicholas.
Growing up, I never had any clue as to how difficult things were financially for my family. I knew that most of my friends had better stuff and more stuff than me, but it was really no big deal. I'm from the Ozarks. Lots of people struggled. But when I was about 16 someone anonymously left my family a trunk full of groceries. (I hadn't even noticed how bare the cabinets were since I primarily existed on cereal and Mac & Cheese.) Obviously, I never forgot that gift. I think sometimes we need to receive to understand better about giving.
I still don't know how I'm going to respond to this offer. I don't want to seize the opportunity to be "taken care of", but at the same time I believe it is a genuine act of kindness and I should be grateful. I do find myself, though, longing for the day that I can be on the other side of this scenario. Ugh. Gotta go chew on this.
1 comment:
I think your heart on this matter is genuine. You don't want to receive so you can 'get more'. Instead, I hear you saying that you wouldn't mind being on the receiving end so that you can identify with and understand the joys that come with being on both sides. Who knows what God could be teaching you as you walk through this experience. In your heart, I know you see yourself as blessed despite what it appears to look like to others. I can't wait to find out how you decide and what you learn as you walk this exciting road.
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