Probably won't post much over the next week (I say that as if I post regularly) since we are currently in the land of country and Christian music for a wedding, followed by a road trip to NW Arkansas for a long overdue visit with my family. I have been away from the south long enough to forget how weddings are done around these parts. The bride is Alabama born and bred and sweet as can be. But man, I live in a totally different world. There are actually lots of things I would change about my own wedding if I ever got the chance for a do-over, but I think that with all the money and time in the world it would never be this perfect. I'm a fairly organized person, but way too type B for that. I think that's why Oregon suits me better. The first time I visited Portland, I noticed how many women had unstyled hair and no makeup. Then it occurred to me, what's the point since the rain just makes your face run and your hair frizzy. Here, I am definitely out of my element. The good news -- it really doesn't bother me so much anymore. As Adelaide said to me recently after one of her successful trips to the potty, "Look! I'm growing!"
Here's to getting a little more comfortable in my very own skin.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Friday, October 13, 2006
The Wonderful World of Poo
Warning: there is absolutely no redeeming value in the following post. In fact, it's kind of gross. Consider yourself warned.
She weighs 25 pounds soaking wet.
She has an affinity for all things pink.
She fancies herself a "ballerina princess".
And this petite, delicate, wisp of a girl can - and has, on more than one occasion - clog a toilet with a single bowel movement. I kid you not. The reason is that as adorable as she is, the child can be stubborn as an ox, and has taken to "withholding". (Last December, she gave herself a serious bladder infection, doing the same thing with "#1). It has been over a year since we began the "toileting" journey, and let me just say that all of those people and books and so called experts who would have one believe that girls learn faster than boys are just full of crap. No pun intended.
I think that most of us had these grand images in our minds of how we would do things just right when we had kids of our own. And then the kids get here, and they have their own little personalities and haven't read the same play book we have and it all becomes quite interesting.
Quincy's 'potty training' was really pretty easy. It seems like he was in his Spiderman underpants in no time and in the course of his life, I have washed out one pair of soiled pants. This daughter of mine is an entirely different story. First, let me assure you that she was NOT constipated. She just really hated pooping. I know that this is not an unusual thing for kids to go through, but let me tell you, it is absolutely maddening. We just kept thinking, she can't keep it in there forever. That is true enough, however, she is able to keep it in for up to 2 weeks. TWO WEEKS!!! Like I said, she weighs 25 pounds. How big could her colon possibly be?! Hence the clogged toilet over and over again. We would sit with her and hold her hand. We would leave her alone to work it out, so to speak, on her own. It just seemed to be getting worse. We could always see the tell-tale signs that something was brewing, when she would stop whatever she was doing, sit down, and just wiggle, wiggle, wiggle. When asked if there was anything the matter, the response was usually something like, "I DON"T need to go poop!"
We realized we needed to seek professional help, when her general distress began to turn to anger and just absolute frustration . . . for all of us. So we got a prescription stool softener/laxative. The doctor says she wants this to be as low stress as possible so we should probably go back to pull ups, because things would likely get messier before they got better. Okay. We will do our best. Just to show what she is capable of, she continued to hold it in. Well, not all of it, of course. After all, she is taking a daily laxative. So what began to happen instead was about every hour or so - sometimes every 15 minutes - we would hear, "I need to wipe my bottom and change my diaper". In one week we went through 29 pull ups. I'd be an absolute liar if I said we remained calm and low stress the entire time.
Then one night, the poo would wait no more. Unfortunately, (or perhaps for the best) she was in the bathtub at the time. Did you ever sing that song when you were younger about Jesus love is bubblin' over? Remember, it went "bubu-bu-bubblin". Evidently, that is what began to happen. Kind of like the tar pits or muddy hot springs. At least that's how Erik described it. I happened to be on the phone, but by the time I had to hand the call off to Erik, the poo had let loose. Not everywhere, but it was enough. It was in the tub, on the toilet, on the floor. You get the picture. And there stands Adelaide in the tub, just wailing while Erik is pouring bucket after bucket of water over her butt. I took over the clean up duties and tried to decipher what she was saying as she cried. "What? It's on your foot?" After a few more guesses I finally figured it out. My sweet, precious, and exceedingly obstinate little girl was weeping and saying "It's all my fault!" Broke my heart. We assurred her over and over that everything was alright and it was absolutely not her fault and no big deal at all. Got everything cleaned up and went on with our evening.
The next day we had a breakthrough. I honestly do not know what clicked. All I know is that she was beginning the wiggle and I carried her to the toilet despite her protestations. And then she accidentally pushed. And then she realized that it wasn't going to hurt. And then she remembered that we had a bag of treats for when she pooped without crying. And then she found the Dora fruit snacks. It was like the planets had aligned. We spent the next 2 days unloading what she had been saving up for the past 2 weeks.
I wouldn't say we are done yet with the process, but we finally seem to be heading the right direction. Now I think she's a little disappointed when we go to 'see if there is any poop that needs to come out of my bottom' and nothing happens. However, she also seems to lose interest when the treats in the surprise bag are not her favorites. But we will stick with it and probably have a little more compassion on those parents whose kids may seem a little delayed in their "toileting" or various other skills. I have said many times that I don't care how many books there are out there telling us how to do this parenting thing right, ultimately we're all just guessing and doing the best we can. God bless us all.
She weighs 25 pounds soaking wet.
She has an affinity for all things pink.
She fancies herself a "ballerina princess".
And this petite, delicate, wisp of a girl can - and has, on more than one occasion - clog a toilet with a single bowel movement. I kid you not. The reason is that as adorable as she is, the child can be stubborn as an ox, and has taken to "withholding". (Last December, she gave herself a serious bladder infection, doing the same thing with "#1). It has been over a year since we began the "toileting" journey, and let me just say that all of those people and books and so called experts who would have one believe that girls learn faster than boys are just full of crap. No pun intended.
I think that most of us had these grand images in our minds of how we would do things just right when we had kids of our own. And then the kids get here, and they have their own little personalities and haven't read the same play book we have and it all becomes quite interesting.
Quincy's 'potty training' was really pretty easy. It seems like he was in his Spiderman underpants in no time and in the course of his life, I have washed out one pair of soiled pants. This daughter of mine is an entirely different story. First, let me assure you that she was NOT constipated. She just really hated pooping. I know that this is not an unusual thing for kids to go through, but let me tell you, it is absolutely maddening. We just kept thinking, she can't keep it in there forever. That is true enough, however, she is able to keep it in for up to 2 weeks. TWO WEEKS!!! Like I said, she weighs 25 pounds. How big could her colon possibly be?! Hence the clogged toilet over and over again. We would sit with her and hold her hand. We would leave her alone to work it out, so to speak, on her own. It just seemed to be getting worse. We could always see the tell-tale signs that something was brewing, when she would stop whatever she was doing, sit down, and just wiggle, wiggle, wiggle. When asked if there was anything the matter, the response was usually something like, "I DON"T need to go poop!"
We realized we needed to seek professional help, when her general distress began to turn to anger and just absolute frustration . . . for all of us. So we got a prescription stool softener/laxative. The doctor says she wants this to be as low stress as possible so we should probably go back to pull ups, because things would likely get messier before they got better. Okay. We will do our best. Just to show what she is capable of, she continued to hold it in. Well, not all of it, of course. After all, she is taking a daily laxative. So what began to happen instead was about every hour or so - sometimes every 15 minutes - we would hear, "I need to wipe my bottom and change my diaper". In one week we went through 29 pull ups. I'd be an absolute liar if I said we remained calm and low stress the entire time.
Then one night, the poo would wait no more. Unfortunately, (or perhaps for the best) she was in the bathtub at the time. Did you ever sing that song when you were younger about Jesus love is bubblin' over? Remember, it went "bubu-bu-bubblin". Evidently, that is what began to happen. Kind of like the tar pits or muddy hot springs. At least that's how Erik described it. I happened to be on the phone, but by the time I had to hand the call off to Erik, the poo had let loose. Not everywhere, but it was enough. It was in the tub, on the toilet, on the floor. You get the picture. And there stands Adelaide in the tub, just wailing while Erik is pouring bucket after bucket of water over her butt. I took over the clean up duties and tried to decipher what she was saying as she cried. "What? It's on your foot?" After a few more guesses I finally figured it out. My sweet, precious, and exceedingly obstinate little girl was weeping and saying "It's all my fault!" Broke my heart. We assurred her over and over that everything was alright and it was absolutely not her fault and no big deal at all. Got everything cleaned up and went on with our evening.
The next day we had a breakthrough. I honestly do not know what clicked. All I know is that she was beginning the wiggle and I carried her to the toilet despite her protestations. And then she accidentally pushed. And then she realized that it wasn't going to hurt. And then she remembered that we had a bag of treats for when she pooped without crying. And then she found the Dora fruit snacks. It was like the planets had aligned. We spent the next 2 days unloading what she had been saving up for the past 2 weeks.
I wouldn't say we are done yet with the process, but we finally seem to be heading the right direction. Now I think she's a little disappointed when we go to 'see if there is any poop that needs to come out of my bottom' and nothing happens. However, she also seems to lose interest when the treats in the surprise bag are not her favorites. But we will stick with it and probably have a little more compassion on those parents whose kids may seem a little delayed in their "toileting" or various other skills. I have said many times that I don't care how many books there are out there telling us how to do this parenting thing right, ultimately we're all just guessing and doing the best we can. God bless us all.
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