My name is Heather and I'm an Orthodox Christian

Sponsors. Every time I hear that, I feel like I'm joining some kind of 12 step group. They are also known as godparents which is, in my opinion, way cooler. Because, you know, one day I may need a favor . . . oh wait, it's not that kind of godparent.

I'm not sure exactly why they use the term sponsor, but my understanding of the role thus far is that they are someone who stands with you through the catechumen/chrismation process kind of holding your hand as you become Orthodox. Because we are joining at Pascha, we will walk through Great Lent leading up to it and they will journey through with us. Each Sunday during Lent there is a prayer said for the catechumens at which point our sponsors will come along side us as it is said. There is also a fairly strict fast and a wide variety of services and practices that they can kind of walk us through. As a "sponsor" they basically can answer questions and help us gain a better understanding for what is happening.

But for the rest of our lives, they will remain our "godparents', and to my understanding that role is just as it sounds -- a spiritual mother or father. There are no rules about what this relationship looks like, but we have observed a few of them and for many it does seem to be a genuine commitment on both parts. The godparents are a part of family celebrations/holidays including the newly added "name" day (commemoration of your saint name). They are also a source of prayer support and spiritual guidance. I also think they have a responsibility to bring it to our attention should we wander off our path. I certainly hope it is not a role anyone takes lightly.

While to a certain extent we are able to choose our godparents, they do have to be run by our priest first and of course they have to be willing to accept. I don't know that it is required throught all churches to involve the priest in the choice, but the reason for it here is primarily to be sure for one thing, that no one is overburdened with too many god children thereby making it very difficult for them to give adequate attention to each. Our priests wife, a terribly sweet and caring lady, has about 14. No one is allowed to request her anymore. More importantly, though, Fr. George knows his people. He has been with this parish for many years and he knows a LOT that we don't such as their spiritual condition and their ability to set an adequate example and be a true "parent".

Finding female options has not been a problem. (Each family member is to have 1 same gender godparent.) I have been attending pretty regularly for at least 2 years and have gotten to know at least a handful of different women. Figuring out men to ask turned out to be a little more difficult, but we managed to come up with 4 men and 4 women to run by Fr. George. I think he took one off of each of our lists and was open to discuss his reasons for it, which we appreciated. We trust him a lot - which, on a side note is actually quite surprising as there was a point in my life I was pretty certain I would never again trust any type of pastor/church leader type - so we were cool with his opinion. So that leaves us with 3 men to ask and we have 3 men in the family so that has now become a matter of matching up and then asking. Adelaide was the easy one. "Miss Lori" has been acting as a godparent in her life almost since the day we met, so that was just a matter of getting Fr. Georges okay which was no problem at all. That means I am now trying to determine which of the final 2 women would be best for me.

So we got that far in the process about 3 weeks ago and I have been at a standstill ever since. Really, what are the things one needs or should look for when making this choice? I have long desired and hoped for some type of "spiritual mother" in my life and it just has never happened. Now I have the opportunity to actually choose one, but it's not for a 6 week mentoring program or "Secret Sister" event. It's the rest of my life. Choose wisely, right? What I have come down to in this process is now this. The young mother/peer or the older, perhaps less personally connected woman. One is the wife of our Deacon (who we are planning to ask to be godfather of one of our boys), has 2 young children, and I believe is a convert as well. I would guess her to be in her early 30's, but really am not certain. She was the first person to make me feel welcome in the church by offering me and the kids some blessed bread on our first visit there. The other woman, in contrast, I have only known a very short time, but have been terribly impressed by her devotion to worship as well as her pursuit of wisdom and understanding. She is the kid's new Sunday School teacher and does an absolutely fantastic job with them. Her own kids are grown and she is also a convert. So part of me wants to ask the young mom, because we seem to be at the same stage in life and she could potentially help me walk through the raising of my kids in this faith tradition that is as new to me as it is to them. I guess I am hoping that there would be a friendship in addition to the spiritual relationship. With the other I envision the older, wiser, experienced mentor type person who has been where I am and can speak from so much experience. Also, without kids at home, maybe she would actually have more time for me since I know I will eternally have questions. Selfish, I know, but I call it like I see it.

I love that this is a part of the process and that the church has set things up this way. I just have to get past my fear of screwing things up.

Say hello to "spud"

 I don't know that I have posted many pics of Milo, but for those who knew my 2 older children in their infancy, we are in a whole new league with this one. I'll just say this -- 8 months, 20 pounds. Holy flippin' cow. And as you can tell, the hair has a mind of it's own.

     

I must be doing something right

If my family is willing to buy me new fancy pants cookware, I can only guess that means some of the meals over the past few months have been worthwhile. (Of course, according to my kids it's all thanks to Rachael Ray) Who would ever have thought this day would come where not only would I be cooking decent food, but that I would be thrilled to receive a spankin' new pan for my birthday.

For what it's worth

Your Candy Heart Says "Get Real"

You're a bit of a cynic when it comes to love. You don't lose your head, and hardly anyone penetrates your heart. Your ideal Valentine's Day date: is all about the person you're seeing (with no mentions of v-day!) Your flirting style: honest and even slightly sarcastic What turns you off: romantic expectations and "greeting card" holidays Why you're hot: you don't just play hard to get - you are hard to get

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

Hmmm. . .

Three days ago I bought a pair of (dirt cheap) cross country skis. I wonder if this means that subliminally I'm pulling for Wisconsin in the race of where do we go next? Can't imagine they'll get much use in Arizona.

What's in a name?

So one of our first orders of business for this Chrismation business is "Christian" names for nearly all of us. This is to be the name of an Orthodox saint and it is what will always be used when receiving Holy Communion. (You also will then have a "name" day at which time you may receive cards, well wishes, or a special lunch, but that's just a bonus.) For those who are born Orthodox, the name is given at that time but for us converts, well, we get to choose our own which is kinda cool, I think. Technically, I don't need one because my middle name is Ruth and short of someone like Jezebel, if it's in scripture you are good to go. However, I feel like I want to explore what options are out there and see if there might be someone that suits me better.

There are no hard and fast rules on the criteria for choosing a saint name. Many of the "cradle orthodox" names given at birth are chosen simply because they are the ones commemorated on or near the child's birth date. Quincy's friend Nikki has a birthday in December and the St. Nicholas feast day is Dec. 6th. Or one could choose a name based on meaning much like we already do when choosing birth names. It could be someone you feel some sort of kindred connection to or perhaps admire or aspire to emulate. Lots to consider.

The boys names are coming along nicely. Erik is drawn to a few of the Alaskan saints after completing his Masters thesis on the Orthodox missions there. Quincy has shown a certain propensity towards academic pursuits, so I think we are going to let him choose from a short list of early church fathers/theologians. Milo's middle name is Jude which was actually chosen
for the saint so he has been all set since birth. Which brings us to me and Adelaide. Instead of narrowing down the choices, the list just seems to be growing longer each day. I've been digging all over the internet and brought home 3 or 4 books from church today. My hope is to find someone who either I identify with on a personal level or aspire to. The desert mothers are impressive, but the whole hermit/reclusive live in a cave type doesn't really resonate with me nor suit my daughter's personality. I'm also weird about martyrs. Not totally against it, but I would just like for there to be more to the story than that. I mean no disrespect. And of course my totally lame considerations would be when their feast day is and what the icon looks like. I'm just being honest.

Here's what we have so far. Feel free to weigh in.

Helen - my maternal grandmother's name that I sometimes regret not using when Adelaide was born. Saint wise, there are more than one, but the most commonly known is Helena, the mother of Constantine who was a fairly strong woman known for building many churches in the Roman empire as well as seeking out the relics of the "true" cross. Feast day is May 21 and shared with her son.

Brigid - a.) she's Irish. I may not have the red hair and porcelain skin, but there is a fair amount of Irish in my family tree so that is meaningful to me. b.) she was incredibly generous which is a trait I can respect and aspire to. c.) she's got her own cross -- shallow reason, I know, but ya gotta admit it's pretty cool especially since I have a small collection of cross pendants as well as several on our dining room wall. Feast day is Feb. 1.

Hilda -- also Irish and known throughout western Europe for her wisdom. Started a well known monastery for both monks and nuns. Died peacefully. She comes across to me as strong, bold, yet humble and gracious at the same time. Then again, do I really want to hear the name Hilda every Sunday? Feast day is Nov. 17.

Susanna - one of the Myrrh-bearing women - those who were present at the cross. I have grown to love the fact that as my friend Lyn always said, "women were the last at the cross and the first at the tomb". There is very little info available about Susanna, but I have great admiration for all of these women and just can't bring myself to choose "Mary". Feast day is second Sunday after Pascha.

Sophia - the name means "wisdom" which is something I desperately need every day of my life. Again, as with many of these names there are more than one. Today I was reading about Sophia "Our Holy Mother" and here are a few things that really caught my attention. "Sophia lived the busy life of an ordinary woman. She was the mistress of a household, a wife, and the mother of six children. . . . Nevertheless, the noise and confusion of the world around Sophia did not prevent her from living a life which was 'pleasing to God'. Hers was at the same time an ordinary life and holy." Although she was widowed and saw all of her children die, she went on to become an incredibly generous woman. Feast day is June 4.

I'm sure I will find more as I read through some books over the next few days. Say a prayer for clarity of mind as I muddle through this over the next few days/weeks.